Friday, October 1, 2010

Letters of Intent - Week from H-E-double-hockey-sticks


Dear FedEx Driver,

While sitting in stop and go traffic on my way home from work I glanced into the open door of your truck. I was taken aback at the fact that you were READING A NEWS PAPER while you were at the wheel. You had a co-worker lounging comfortably in the passenger seat. Maybe next time he can drive while you get your leisure reading in. I don't normally say anything when I see people making a$$hole moves like that, but for some reason I felt compelled. When I rolled down my window and told your buddy that it might be a good idea for you to save your reading for another time, I expected a little embarrassment on your part. A small acknowledgement that you were being an idiot. If someone called me out on that I know I'd be embarrassed, but then again I dont' read while I am piloting my vehicle. I do have to say that my favorite part would have to be when you pulled past me, into the turn lane, and your friend gave me a thumbs up as you flipped me off. That, my friend, was the last straw. I suppose if you are stupid enough to read while you drive, that you are also stupid enough to not realize that the name and phone number of your company is embossed on the side of your truck. I took down your plate number and truck number and promptly called 1-800-go-FedEx to tattle on you. Stick that in your paper and read it.


The lady you don't want to f*&^ with


Dear Week,

If you had a face, I would punch you in it. You better tell your friend Weekend to make it up to me.


The woman you kicked around for the last 5 days


  1. Oh my goodness, I cracked up at the friend, Weekend. I sure hope he's good to you!

    You'll have to give us an update if you get any feedback from Fed Ex. That driver should be fired.

    Thanks for linking up!

  2. Oh my, Kam, I wouldn't want to get on YOUR bad side!! "Stick that in your paper and read it..." best stinkin' quote I've heard!!! Hahaha

    And your "Dear Week" was hilarious too. You say the stuff I always want to say, but have too many relatives reading my blog (not sure Oma would appreciate me writing a$$hole!) heehee

  3. You, my friend, rock. And my week? One of those too. This whole working mom gig can sometimes "suck it".

  4. "If you had a face, I would punch you in it." Officially my go-to statement for anything face-less that ticks me off from here on out....BAAAAHHHHHAAAA....hilarious!!

    How's Saturday Morning treating you? Is she in danger of getting her face punched too? ;)

    Hope things are violence free so far....


  5. OhMyLord - you just gave me two awesome quotes that I am totally going to steal! :)

    I am glad you said something to the FedEx guy, and to FedEx. Please come back and update us after he gets canned?

    And I hope you are having a marvelous weekend!

  6. I hope that Fedex guy, does get canned he deserves it. Looking forward to an update.

    Have a wonderful weekend and get some rest.

  7. Wow, some people are beyond stupid! I'm glad you called FedEx.

  8. Oh darn you I just laughed out loud so hard I woke a kid up. LOL you are too funny. I feel the same way some weeks.
    Hope that Fed ex guy got in TROUBLE!
    Love the new blog makeover. CUTE

  9. I once passed an erratic driver and realized he was reading a porn magazine while driving.

    Good job on calling FedEx!

  10. BRAVO for calling FedEx about that guy. What a rude A$$!

    I hope the weekend was kinder to you. I know the Jets won just for you! :) xo

  11. Make sure you let us know what FedEx central says about the jerk.

    And Craigie's on Main is a good make-up for the weekend, I think!

  12. Seriously!? I can't believe the FedEx driver was that dumb! I am glad you called.

  13. It amazes me sometimes what I see people doing while they drive!! I wish everyone had a "how's my driving" sticker on their car!!

  14. I was cracking up at this post! Good for you for calling!


What you talkin' bout Willis??