Not Me! Monday

I'm back...at least for this week. I haven't posted a Not Me edition for almost 2 months. Believe me, it is not for lack of material. My life story could be titled "Not Me!". I am just having a hard time with posts committed to a day this summer. That means I have also been slacking on Tim's Vlogemotions posts too, but that has more to do with the fact that I never look presentable on Thursday! I feel the need to get a few things that are so not about me off my chest today.

I did not ruin my friend's surprise "Sprinkle" by posting to get every one's opinion on showers for a second child. She isn't completely giddy that I ruined said surprise because she was dying to tell me anyway! Nope, my friends are totally capable of keeping surprises as just that!!

I did not get a text message last week from my home daycare provider that read, "Am I hearing him wrong or did Natey just say f'in dude??". I did not admit to all of blogland that my son is suffering from a case of sailor mouth due to a choice phrase he picked up from one of the hubby's friends. I was not mortified that he was repeating this in public.

My son did not also pick up on the fact that his daycare provider is still nursing her daughter and tell Daddy last night that he could, "Drink his boobies" as he stood neked after his bath. Nope, this is so not going to be a problem when the baby comes.

I didn't get a Blackberry and am not in need of an intervention because of it! I do not have a problem putting it down at all! Nope, not me!

I did not consume a pb&j AND a lean pocket at 9pm last night because I was starving. I don't ever eat that late and surely would have only eaten one of those things, not both, an hour before bed.

What did you {not} do this week?

Not Me! Monday

I haven't been playing along like I used to. I was so dedicated, so ahem,obsessed for a while with the not me madness. I think it lost some of it's luster for me when too many people began playing along. I used to be able to sneak though a bunch of random people's posts but now I look at the Mr.Linky and don't even feel like bothering. Where do I start?? How do I know if they are going to be funny? Oh well. I will throw my hat in again this week, but I make no promises of consistency. Ok people...

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I did not have the best intentions of leaving at 8:30 on Saturday morning to take 2, 2 year olds to ride on Thomas the train only to realize it took me twice as long to get 2 kids fed, dressed and packed than it does with one. We were not sprinting out the door at 9:30 to make our scheduled train at 10:50. I did not drive 80 miles an hour with my hubby and 2 toddlers in the car. That would be irresponsible. The freakin gas light didn't come on when we had about 30 miles to go before we arrived. I am not so OCD about running out of gas that I had to stop just in case. We did not manage to get there and sprint to the train with 2 minutes to spare. Nope, pregnant me was not running with one toddler on each hip while my gimpy knee'd hubby brought up the rear!

I did not make breakfast sausage only to realize after we were finished eating that the package said to use 3 days after opening. It was not a week since we used the first half of the package. I did not get my payback as my son said he was "tootin" only to find feces on my carpet 5 minutes later. I did not have to rush him to the bathroom and clean him off and then scrub the heck out of said spots on the floor.

I am not off for an entire week while my hubby has to work and my boy goes to daycare. I am not gloating a little at my free time. I am not a little peeved that my free time isn't exactly free as I have to sew myself into oblivion for my upcoming craft festival. I am not sitting here writing this post when I should be sewing either. Nope, not me.

This morning when I dropped my boy off, I did not stop and get an iced coffee and a donut. I so didn't think my hubby would be gone by the time I got home and, when he wasn't, proceed to hide the donut in my purse so he wouldn't see it. I am not licking the last remnants off of my fingers as I type one handed either!!

I am not so excited that, in exactly 28 hours and 40 minutes I will know the sex of baby #2. I am not going to host a giveaway tomorrow morning either to celebrate!!!

Not Me! Monday- wedding weekend edition

I have been really bad at participating in the not me madness.You know you've been slacking when one of your IRL friends says she misses the posts! This one's for you Ariana!! ;o) If you want to play along visit MckMama for more not me action!
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I did not get the least bit irritated when my hubbs spent the whole morning cleaning out his truck so we could drive it to the wedding, only to lock his keys in the ignition. When I asked him where the spare set was, he did not reply that they were also IN the truck. WTH??

I did not practically beg my hubby to leave his friend's wedding early (if you can call 9 pm when the wedding started at 2:30 pm early) because I was bored. That would be selfish and have nothing to do with the fact that watching people do the chicken dance and YMCA while sober is not all that exciting.

Since Natey had a sleepover with his bestest bud (and his mom, my bestest bud) we would not have woken up at 8am Sunday morning and called it "sleeping in". It is not completely pathetic that we can't even sleep in when we want to since we are used to getting up so dang early every day.

We also spent the morning time we had minus the toddler craziness lying in bed lounging around, not speed cleaning our house while we didn't have to keep one on on the boy and the other on what we were doing. That would be lame and we are certainly not lame!

I certainly did not get puked on by Natey when he woke up from his nap in a frenzy and choked on the snot he created by crying so hard. I am totally aware of the cues he gives before he pukes and it did not happen to me....again. Seriously. Why does he always puke on me?

Not Me! Monday

Ok. I give in. I am not perfect. I try to be, but I mess up from time to time. Join me over at MckMama's and let's all share what makes us human this week!

I have not been semi-boycotting the whole Not Me thing when it used to be my favorite post of the week. I didn't feel immense pressure to come up with a witty intro and instead just decide not to write a post rather than let down my readers. I am not that petty. Nope, not me!
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We are planting two vegetable and herb gardens in our yard. We got the raised beds all set up last weekend and were supposed to go get the plants for them. We did not stupidly bring Natey to the farm to get the seedlings:

1. At 5 pm when we were all hungry starving
2. When the sky looked like it was about to open up and poor down rain

We did not begin to put plants on a cart only to get frustrated by the fact that Nate was pulling seedlings out by the roots, having a fit about being strapped into the stroller, and demanding food. We did not proceed to put all of the plants back and then leave without anything to go eat. At least we wised up yesterday and dropped the kid off at the grandparents for an hour so we could get what we needed in peace.We were not so embarrassed by the whole incident that we went to a different farm the next day.
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I did not go the entire day yesterday and forget I was pregnant until someone brought up the possibility of being hung over after a wedding we will be going to in July. I didn't stare at her blankly for a moment and then remind her that I will in fact NOT be hung over since I will not be drinking. She didn't feel like an idiot since she also knows I am pregnant.
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My well behaved insane, almost 2 year old, did not announce to the whole restaurant we were eating at that he was pooping. I did not very quietly remind him that he was tooting, not pooping and that he should say excuse me. He didn't proceed to yell, "Cuse me. I'm tootin". At this point I did not give up and sit there red in the face and smile at anyone who was staring.
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What did you "not" do this week?

Not Me! Monday

Bless me MckMama for I have sinned.

It has been 41 days since my last Not Me! confession.

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I did {not} reveal that I'm preggers in my vlog post on Friday. I am {not} amazed that I managed to keep my huge mouth shut for a total of 11 weeks and 4 days since I was bursting at the seams to tell everyone!

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I am {not} the biggest procrastinator of all time. I did {not} reveal this to the whole bloggy world and immediately regret my post because I don't want people to think I would take my time filling my Etsy orders when that is the one thing I try to stay on top of.

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To that end, I did{n't} wait until Friday to start making my inventory for a craft show I was doing on Sunday. I did{n't} keep my exhausted pregnant tukus up until 12:45 am on Sat night finishing my goods. I did {not} kick butt and end up making 25 items in 1 1/2 days!

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I was {not} completely disgusted with the turnout for the craft show. The show was {not} completely under-advertised and in the most ridiculous location ever. In 5 hours the total amount of people who sauntered through the building was {not} roughly 40! Out of those 40 people a measly 10% were {not} of the cane sect. Out of 25 baby items (plus a diaper cake) I did {not} sell 0 (not a typo people) items. I was {not} so bored out of my mind that I wanted to go outside and jump up and down in front of the building to attract SOME kind of traffic to the show. This was{n't} my first craft show and also may {not} be my last (at least with this organizer)!!

What did you {not} do this week??

Not Me! Monday

I'm sick and tired of it all! No really, I am sick...and tired. I managed to get caught by that darned cold that was chasing me last week. I don't know why people say they catch a cold. I really feel like it's the other way around. Well, you'd think being laid up with a cold would prevent you from doing stupid stuff, but not this girl. Nope, not me!! I still managed to have my share of oops and uh ohs and I'd like to get them off my chest....as opposed to out of my chest, which is where I'd like this cold to go!! Head on over and visit MckMama for more not me Monday action and while you're there say a prayer for Stellan who is back in the hospital with heart problems.
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I have not already started writing a list for our trip to California. Seriously, it should not be this much of a production to be gone for 9 days. This list is not primarily dominated by my not yet 2 year old, and does not include items such as kiddie leash, hulk, and toilet seat.

I did not teach my son how to sing, "Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your bootie", because it made me laugh watching him run in circles wiggling his bottom all around. It did not come back to haunt me in Target when he started yelling "shake your bootie" over and over again to the chagrin of a disapproving elderly lady.

I did not manage to finish 4 shirts, even though I felt like I was going to die. I am not so behind in my projects with a half done purse, 3 presents for people, and 2 more shirts that I need to finish by Thursday so I can get them sent out by Friday before we leave on our vacation! Nope, not me!! I always work through illness and laugh in the face of death to sew! I didn't make one of my favorite item thus far for Heather. It almost didn't happen either because of a misunderstanding on fabric!

What did you "not" do this week??

Not Me! Monday

"Yes you did!"

"No, I didn't"

"But I saw you"

"You only thought you saw me"

"Are you sure?"

"Yep, it wasn't me, it was definitely Not me!"

Do you want to tell us what your "Not Me!" alter ego did this week?? You know what I'm talking about, those embarrassing things that are readily admitted when you can blame them on "Not Me"! Head over to MckMama's blog and tattle on Not Me! Come on, it'll be fun!
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It was "Not Me!" who saw a wrapped Hershey's kiss in the parking lot of my work and contemplated picking it up and eating it. I was wrapped after all, but I refrained. Chocolate has magical powers and makes you do crazy things, but this wasn't one of them.

It was also "Not Me!" who knocked 10 pairs of glasses off of a stand by slamming into it with my shopping cart. It was not my husband who just kept walking with my son. I did not hear him say, "Who is that lady" as he quickly walked away from the mess I had created.

I did not go to 3 different stores trying to find some glasses after I realized we were down to 3 and then not even buy any! How does that even happen? I did not freak out when I opened a box to check out the glasses and my son picked one up and it broke in his hand! Nope, not me! I wouldn't even let him get the chance to pick one up because I always pay close attention. Thank God he didn't get cut!!

It was so "Not Me", who was trying to organize the freezer, with my little boy hovering close by, when a lunch freezer block fell off the top shelf. I didn't have my hands full and, since I was unable to catch the block, put my knee up to deflect it before it fell on his head. It did not slam me squarely on the knee, and since I am not a huge wuss, I didn't fall to the floor in tears. Nathan's eyes didn't get as big as saucers as he yelled, "Momma, wha happened???" over and over again. The way he was saying it was not so funny that I forgot how much it hurt and started laughing hysterically at my toddler's concern for his mommy!

What did you "not" do this week?

Not Me! Monday

It's that time of the week again. You know, the beginning, or to those of us who have to go to work, the beginning of the end. That's how I see it. It is the end of my weekend, the beginning of getting through 5 days so I can have 2 to myself again. I don't always feel this way, but some weekends aren't filled with rest and relaxation, such as the one I just made it through. At least I can look back at last week and laugh. Have a giggle at the events that did not take place in my life. I can go to MckMama's blog and find comfort in the fact that I am not alone, as there are hundreds of us who seek refuge in the witty banter that is Not Me! Monday.
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I do not drive by this house all of the time and laugh about what is tagged on the front of it. I have not wanted to take a picture of it for months, yet never seem to have my camera when driving by. I was not happy when I finally got a picture of it, only to notice that the fence pole is covering up what even makes this picture laugh worthy in the first place...the apostrophe between the l and the s!

I am not bewildered and a bit embarrassed that my 20 month old son is turning into that kid and hitting everyone in sight. I did not just write a post begging for advice on what to do to nip this in the bud, before I loose my mind and duct tape his arms to his sides. {Hang up the call to CPS, I wouldn't really do that...at least not yet}

We have all walked into the wrong bathroom at one time or another, right? Maybe you don't notice the men's sign outside, you get in and "OOPS" you turn around and walk out. None of us has ever been looking at her missed calls, walked in to the men's room and right into the stall, completely missing the bank of urinals to her right. We have never seen someone walk in through the crack in the door and think it is a co-worker at the same event. No one I know has ever finished peeing, opened the stall door and saw a guy with his back to her peeing in the urinal and bolted out the door like a flash, without even washing her hands. Nope, that person does not exist. Never happened.

What did you "not" do this week??

Not Me! Monday

Let's just stick to the facts today people. No beating around the bush. Just spit it out. Let's just say what we mean and mean what we say..... There don't you feel better? That's what I thought. Head on over to MckMama's and put it out there for the world to see. Ok, maybe not the world, but you get my point.
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I didn't wear my gym clothes to work, with every intention of running 5 miles, and end up changing in the bathroom after I sat at my desk for 45 minutes cause I wasn't feelin' it. I never do that (no really, I don't)!

The other morning at breakfast, I did not absentmindedly pour cream on my half eaten pancakes, instead of syrup. Hypothetically, if something like this did happen, it would have been because the syrup and the cream were in the exact same cutesy little decanter and not because I don't pay attention!

I am not so used to having a toddler in the car at all times that I said, "Oh, big truck" and even pointed to it, AFTER I had dropped Natey off at daycare. I do not talk to myself. I did not laugh hysterically at my own expense when I realized I was alone in the car. Nope, not me!

I did not almost drop Natey off of my shoulders while trying to get the keys from my hubby in the store. I didn't freak out on him and tell him it would have been his fault, if Nate had, in fact, fallen off. I always take responsibility for my actions!!

What did you "not" do this week??

Not Me! Monday

I'd be lying if I hadn't made a version of this speech before, I think I was probably eight years old and staring into the bathroom mirror. And this would've been a shampoo bottle. Well, it's not a shampoo bottle now! I feel very fortunate to have made it all the way from there to here. And I'd like to thank some of the people along the way who had faith in me, my friends and my family, especially my mum and dad, who are in this room somewhere. Dad, whistle or something, 'cause then I'll know where you are. (He whistles.) Yeah! (Waving to him.) I love you.

And I want to acknowledge my fellow nominees, these goddesses. I think we all can't believe we're in a category with MckMama at all. I'm sorry, MckMama, but you have to just suck that up! And, just to the Academy, thank you so much, my God! Thank you!"

Oh, shoot. Was I dreaming just now? Must have been waking delusions brought on by a lack of sleep. I guess I'll further embarrass myself by talking about all of the other things I dreamt about doing this week, but of course didn't do. I was dreaming remember...

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I didn't encounter a malfunctioning automatically flushing toilet at work. Said toilet did not flush 3 times while I was trying to pee, splashing my backside and causing me to jump up to avoid the spray. I did not feel like I wanted to go to the gym just to take a quick shower since I was so grossed out by the whole thing. Things like that are part of a nightmare, not real life!

My 20 month old son used the potty for the first time this week! I must be dreaming right? Would it even be possible to get him completely trained by 2 years old? I should be happy about this right? I am not one of those weirdos that, after emptying a #2 out of his little potty, decided that I would rather wipe his diapered bum than deal with cleaning that nasty thing out every time.

Natey did not spend the night at his grandparents for the 1st time EVER on Friday. This would be a dream come true, right?? The hubbs and I aren't so lame that we went out to dinner and then went to see Coraline 3D with another couple instead of partying it up all night long. No way did my husband fall asleep on me 10 minutes into the movie because he'd had red wine at dinner. We did not go to sleep at 12 and still wake up early even though the boy wasn't home.

What did you "not" do this week??

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On a different note, I am selling items in my Etsy shop to benefit the Cora Paige Playground fund. 100% of the profits will be donated to this wonderful cause. If you'd like to help out and get something cute in return click on my Etsy shop or the pink button in my sidebar. It will take you to all of the wonderful items people are selling to raise money for the memorial playground. I will be adding more items in the next couple of days and you can also request custom items that aren't listed. See this post for examples.

Not Me! Monday

Some people are of the impression that confession is good for the soul. Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff--it's a palliative rather than a remedy. That being said, I prefer to deny, deny, deny. Apparently, so does MckMama. Hey, it's easier than coming to terms with some of the random happenings of life such as the following hypothetical situations...

I would never leave a meeting to "pee", run down a flight of stairs, speed walk down a hallway to my desk just to check if the Not Me! post was up, give a little woo hoo, and manage to get 10th on the list. Who does that? Some obsessive compulsive chick, not me, that's for sure.

I am also way to politically correct to stick shove my foot in my mouth by saying something looked "gay" to my homosexual co-worker. Who uses that word?? Bratty, ignorant teenagers, not a 30 year old mother and scientist!

I am not absent minded at all, ever. Who was that woman that walked out of her lab, with her lab coat and safety glasses on, and walked straight to the gym without taking them off and got half way through the door before she noticed she had them on?? That was some new girl, that hasn't worked here for over 3 years!

I am a seasoned mother. My child is coming up on 2 years old. He is not potty trained yet. I know what happens when an undiapered boy runs free in the house before bath time. He pees in your closet, that's what happens. Thank God I am not that stupid! I laughed at that mom!

What did you "not" do this week?

Not Me! Monday

Have you ever "scratched" your nose in the car and then realized the guy next to you at the light is laughing? Or tripped walking through the grocery store, and pray no one saw? Maybe you've had to go pee so badly that you couldn't quite make it to the bathroom and instead went in a cup, or worse, your pants? If things like this keep you up at night, have I got the support group for you! It's call the Not Me! Monday club. We meet here every week to engage in group therapy. Our guru MckMama, is a seasoned vet of pseudo-denial and will show you the way to a happier, healthier, less embarrassed you! Please come join us, you won't be sorry!


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Having a toddler, there's a lot of singing that goes on in the car. He shouts out requests from his car seat like, "Bus song" (The wheels on the bus), "Fu Fu Song" (Little bunny FuFu) and "Spider song" (Itsy bitsy spider). In order to have a happy little man for the whole ride home, I usually oblige. I did {not}, however, get caught doing the hand motions to the "Spider song" at a red light by a very amused gentleman who probably couldn't see my son and thought I was plain crazy! I wasn't mildly embarrassed yet continue with the hand motions until the light turned green. Nope, not me!


I did not almost walk out the door to go to the market without my list and coupons. Having felt vindicated that I remembered them, I was not irritated when I got to the store and realized I had no pen to cross the items off. Upon searching my purse and finding no writing utensil, I didn't use my earring to "cross off" each thing. The paper did not look like it had been through the shredder by the time I go to the checkout stand!!



Yesterday was a balmy 49 degrees out so my friend and I decided to take our boys to the zoo to get some fresh air and put a dent in the cabin fever that's been building from a life inside. I did not think about the fact that all of the snow would be melting, leaving huge puddles every where. By the end of our excursion my shoes and the whole bottom of my pants were {not} completely soaked and muddy along with my son's bright white shoes and laces. I am way smarter than that. We have rain boots and, by golly, we wore them!!

What did you "not" do this week?

Not Me! Monday

Why not me on a rainy day?
Why not me to love your cares away?
Why not me?
Why not me when the nights get cold?
Why not me when you're growin old?
Why not me?

Um, excuse me Wynonna. Yeah, you too Naomi. Sorry to interrupt the song, but didn't you get the memo? You know, the one from MckMama?? No? Well, why don't you pop over to her blog and check it out. Maybe then you'll understand.

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I did not just write that intro. I am not secretly hoping that people get it.

I did not take some me time this week and have a girls night at a spa with my friend. I didn't tell my hubby on my way there that if he had any questions he should ask them before 5pm since I didn't want a phone call about meatloaf or the location of the remote while I was getting a facial or pedicure.

I am watching what I eat. I am going to the gym 3-4X a week. I am loosing weight. This being said, I most certainly did not attempt to eat the candy from my wedding favor that I had on the shelf in my cubicle, in a moment of desperation. It was not there for decoration. It was not 2 1/2 years old and way too old to be consumed. The jelly beans weren't rock hard and the gummies weren't the chewiest thing ever, um, ahem...not eaten.


I did not google "not me" only to come across this website!! WTF??? Some men would probably think this is the greatest invention ever. I'd comment more, but I don't want to ruin the surprise.

I never curse, so this is not something I am actively working on changing. I am not replacing bad words with lesser words so my son does not belt out the f-bomb at an inopportune moment, you know, like the pediatrician's office or something. This being said, I did not bang my head getting him in the car last night and say "dang it!" only for him to repeat it. I was not proud of myself for not using the real word. This proud moment only lasted a minute since my BIL, who thought I had said damn it, said it out loud and Natey copied him. I did not want to make him walk home at that point.

What did you "not" do this week?

Not Me! Monday

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one Monday everyone will freely share their follies without fear of judgement.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that we can all laugh at ourselves because no one should take themselves too seriously.

So let freedom ring! The freedom to be who we are without apology! The freedom to laugh and be laughed with as we share our weekly blunders!

This dream is not mine alone. Visit MckMama's blog to share in the Not ME! dream.

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I did not attempt to give blood TWICE this week to no avail. The first day I didn't get turned away since I was wearing my down coat in a sweltering room and my temperature was slightly above 99. When sticking to my guns and coming back the next day, I didn't make it past the questions, temperature and iron test only to get poked with a giant needle for nothing. My veins are not the tiniest of all time. They also didn't inform me that I am not a good candidate for the future. I am so NOT taking this get out of blood giving free card since I am deathly afraid of it in the first place.

If such a prize existed, I would not have nominated myself for worst mom ever after I forgot to buckle Natey in to his seat on the way to daycare. I did not drive the 10 minutes there only to pull up and hear, "Whoa, weeeeee" coming from the back seat. When I turned around I absolutely did not see my little man sitting on the edge of his car seat smiling wide and buckle free. I would never do that, nope, not me!

It was not so freezing here this week that, when I tried to fill up my gas tank, the door was frozen shut. I didn't stand there stunned for a moment before using my credit card to scrape the ice away. Since the windchill was -15 I didn't break the rules by not standing there and pumping my gas. I didn't quickly search through my car until I decided my gym socks (clean, don't worry) would work to jam into the pump handle!!

I always allow ample time for every task I have to do. I never have to rush through a shower so we can run out the door. Since this never happens to me, I would not forget to rinse the conditioner out of my hair before exiting the shower. I would not miss this fact until after I am fully dressed and combing my hair. I would not have to run my head under the bath faucet while my 19 month old son smacks me on the bum almost knocking me into the tub. I am so glad that would never happen to me!!

What did you "not" do this week??

Not Me! Monday

Monday, bloody Monday...make that Monday, snowy Monday. Well, snow or no snow, I made it to work and am about to embark on my favorite post of each week! Like a blanket of snow makes everything seem clean, so will cleansing your soul by admitting to the oopses, the uh ohs and the did-I-really-just-do-thats of the past week. If you want to come clean, head on over to MckMama's blog and play along. You'll be glad you did!!

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I did not mope the majority of last Monday because my vacation was over and I missed my boy even before I dropped him off for daycare. I have 3 degrees and I should feel happy about putting them to use. I would never just want to stay home with my family. Nope, not me!!

I did not manage to drive the speed limit for an entire day. It wasn't one of my 101 goals and it was not absolutely painful to accomplish. I was not very proud that I did not give up half way through the day while I was being passed by semis and elderly ladies on the highway. I am a law abiding citizen and wouldn't even think of of speeding. You hear that officer..I don't speed...EVER. ;o)

I am never clumsy. In fact, I am a picture of grace at all times. This being said, I didn't slam my knee into our side table and proceed to tell my hubby, "When I ask where this {newest} bruise came from, remind me that I ran in to that table". I shouldn't need to be reminded. It's not like I run into every stationary object in sight and end up with bruises all over me that I can't remember how I got! That would just be ridiculous.

What did you "not" do this week?

Not Me! Monday

Hi..um, is this thing on??

My name is Kameron and I'm a blogaholic.

It's been 1 day since my last post.

{Hi, Kameron}

The first step is admitting that I have a problem,

so on to number 2.

They say denial is the second step.

Oh shoot, that's the phases of grief. I am just a mess.

Well, denial seems easier than the rest so I'm going with it!

If you want to attend our meetings, head over to MckMama's blog and step up to the mic yourself.

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I did not wake up this morning, check MckMama's blog and have a pity party for myself since there were already 151 people on Mr. Linky. I did not have a take-my-ball-and-go-home moment and decide not to post my Not Me's! I am way more mature than that and I don't care if people read this stuff!

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I didn't get to work and see all of the other posts of my bloggy friends and decide to stop being a baby and write it anyway!

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We did not run out of oil this week and wake up FREEZING. It was not completely my husband's fault since I had been asking him about the oil level for 2 weeks and he said it was fine. I did not close of the back of the house, turn on the oven and 2 burners on my stove to warm up the kitchen, breezeway and family room. I wasn't pleasantly surprised when it managed to get up to 64 degrees in the family room just by doing that! I did not take away the oil checking job from my hubby since this is NOT the 3rd time this has happened since we've lived in this house.

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I was not so proud of myself when I went to the mall with my friend (to pick up my ring from being cleaned) and managed to not buy anything. I have self control, so I don't even know why I was worried. I did not avoid looking at anything remotely cute just to make sure that I was in control.

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I ordered the weekend paper and on Saturday nothing was delivered. I looked outside on Sunday morning and still there was no paper. I did not ask my in-laws to pick one up for me only to have them arrive with a paper and MY Sunday paper, which was apparently thrown behind my husband's truck instead of on our porch. I got the paper to SAVE money (via coupons) not waste it by having 2 Sunday papers in my house.

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What did you "not " do this week?

Not Me! Monday

Could it be? What's that you say?? A Monday I don't have to work, hooray!! In good fashion I will have to say that I am not absolutely giddy that I am in my jammies writing my post. This is one Monday that being in said jammies at this time is not going to make me late for work! I'd like to blame MckMama for my obsession with these posts, but we all know that you can lead a horse to water but ya can't make 'em drink. If you want to drink in the hilarity, head on over to her blog and wallow in the fun with us!

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I did not trip while going up the stairs at work and drop my timer down 2 flights of stairs trying to grab the hand rail. I was not amazed that it didn’t break into a million pieces, though it did completely reset the timer and clock.

I didn’t wash my hands with the worst smelling sop ever and then have to smell it for over an hour until I could leave the lab and wash my hands in our office bathroom with different soap. I didn't look mildly crazy since I kept smelling my hands and grimacing.

When arriving at my In-laws house for our Christmas Eve party, I did not drop their present (our professional pictures) in a giant puddle. If that happened, I would not immediately throw the rest of the stuff I was holding onto the hood of my car (while yelling profanities) and rip the paper off of their gift to avoid soaking the photos. Since that did not happen to me, I did not have to give them their present unwrapped and explain my clumsiness.

I was not one of the 4 oldest people at a concert the other night. I was not secretly happy that we could have a spot at the bar with a perfect view since people weren’t fighting to get a drink!



My little man didn't misjudge the height of a step and fall right on his noggin. If that happened, I would be a calm parent, not freak out and snatch him up probably making him dizzy. He didn't cough up a little bit of lunch, start choking on it and then proceed to throw up all over me. At the first sign of gagging I turned him around. I am not stupid enough to stand there and let him puke on me...4 times. Nope, not me!

What did you "not" do this week??

Not Me! Monday

Twas the Monday before Christmas and all through the house, not a soul was getting ready to leave this house....


That is only partly true. I'm up and, I guess, that counts as part of getting ready to go to work, right?? Anyway, it is Monday and time to tell you what I absolutely did not do last week! Check out MckMama's blog to play along.

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I did not say, "I have ears like a hawk....'s eyes" to my husband when I heard him talking about me to my MIL. I did not loose my leverage at that ridiculous statement since all he did was laugh at me.

After my slip of the tongue, I didn't proceed to google "hawk" and "ears" to see if, in fact, they do have good hearing, simply to vindicate myself. I didn't feel a bit better when I discovered that they can pinpoint the exact source of a sound...WITH THEIR HEARING!! My hubby was still unimpressed with my logic.

I was not irritated with the weather when, right after I bought my new car, it rained and then dumped a foot of snow on us. I don't care how pretty my car is, and if I did, I would not wish we had not turned our garage into a family room, just so I could park Huey in it!

I didn't write a sad post right before Christmas. This is a happy time and I don't spend my time wallowing in loss. I don't miss my mother terribly and secretly hope what I get for Christmas is a vivid dream of her like when I was pregnant.

I am not so thrilled that I only have 2 more days of work (including today) before I get 12 whole days in a row off! I didn't almost call out today because it was freezing outside and I wanted to spend the day in jammies with my boy. Nope, not me! I am dedicated to my work and would never think about doing that!!

What did you "not" do this week??

Not Me! Monday

It's Monday and I can't believe it is only 10 days until Christmas!! This month has already flown by, and with the frenzy of the season, you know we have all misplaced our brains from time to time! Cleanse your soul with us over at MckMama's. Laughing at yourself (and others) will help you de-stress on the home stretch of the holidays!
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I did not allow my 1 1/2 year old to eat only goldfish crackers, cheese, milk, and juice for 5 days since that's all he felt up to eating. It did not tear my heart out to see him all stuffed up and crying because he was gagging on ANYTHING else I tried to feed him. I was not thrilled last night when he ate an actual meal without turning his head and saying "Nahhhhh"!

While trying to pull my thumb drive out of the back of my computer, I did not drop it behind our {extremely heavy} office desk. When I tried to move the desk I was not completely amazed to see the loot that was hiding behind the desk. Besides the dust bunnies, I did not find: 2 hair clips, another thumb drive (that I thought was lost), my makeup bag (wha??), a Lego man, and 3 goldfish crackers. I wonder if my son is the culprit or if the elves that steal the socks from the dryer are to blame for this??

When attempting to remove said items I did not use a pair of kitchen tongs since I could not reach the little things entangled in the mess of cords. I was not super proud of my ingenuity...until I finished and saw my hubby, standing behind me, giggling at my expense.

I did not get side tracked, organizing our entire office {including drawers}, when I was supposed to be working on the shirts and onesies I have to mail out today. That 2 hour diversion did not cause me to say up until midnight getting everything finished! I am not exhausted today because of it. Nope, not me!!

I didn't open my very own Etsy store this weekend {PeddleMyWares.etsy.com} !!! I am not super excited and so grateful to all of the people who participated in the naming of the store! {I used a couple of the other suggestions for product names!!!} I would not totally love if everyone would go check out my store and tell their friends about it too!! {It's still a work in progress and I can take orders for things that aren't in there yet, just ask!!}

What did you "not" do this week??

Not Me! Monday

What better way to relive your "Doh!" moments from the week, than to share them with the group?? If you want to read some other people's stories before you jump on the sharing wagon, pop over to MckMama's blog and see how many of us are willing to divulge the stupid funny things we did last week!

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I did not completely forget about my Not Me! Monday post until I opened my blog in a meeting I was in {shush, don't tell} and saw all of the orange button pictures. I then did not contemplate writing said post during the meeting before deciding (since my director was there and all) that it could probably wait until later!!!

OK, now on to the past week!

I did not look back at my last Not Me! post, written at 4am before I left for the airport, and wonder if I really need some kind of intervention for blogging! I mean, who wakes up, gets dressed, puts their luggage in the car and then blogs at that time?? Not me, that's for sure!

When I visited one of my oldest and dearest friends on Tuesday, I did not accidentally lock us out of her house at 10pm! Who knew she'd come outside, in the freezing Colorado night, to say goodbye? We didn't proceed to take off every screen on the front of her house until we found an unlocked window for me to crawl through. As I was half in, bum hanging out of the window, I absolutely didn't hear her say how badly she wanted to smack my tuckus since I would be unable to defend myself {seeing how I was trying not to damage any of her belongings as I broke climbed into her house}!

I did not have 3 glasses of wine with my old boss and some colleagues, stay at dinner until 10:30pm and then drive the 2 blocks back to my hotel without my lights on! If that did happen to me, the valet would not have brought it to my attention and make me feel like a complete moron.

Speaking of this same valet....I did not pull up to my hotel and then wonder how far the restaurant I was going to was and decide to drive around the block to check it out. The valet did not come running out and say it was OK, I didn't have to leave, only for me to wave him on. I did not turn the corner and see the restaurant only 15 feet away and then drive back around and park at the valet station. He knew better than to ask me if I had just taken a "victory lap". I hope I never see that guy again!

What did you "not" do this week??