Alternatively titled:
I hate Rhode Island Drivers
************************************************
Hey you! Yeah you, behind the wheel of that guided missile. You're an ass. You are a danger to yourself and those around you. I don't appreciate that two of the people in your immediate vicinity are me and my son. I have some driving tips and wisdom I'd like to impart to you my friend...
**********
Blinkers are NOT optional. They warn people you are entering their lane and turning right immediately thereafter.
***
You may not drive for any length of time with your hazard lights on. Their sole purpose is to alert people to your presence on the SIDE of the road so they do not hit you.
***
I don't care how much you honk your horn. I will not proceed through the green light until there is space for me on the other side. I will NOT block the intersection and get stuck there when the other light turns green because you are an impatient jerk. P.S. Calling me a "Douche bag" will not help your case!
***
Driving + texting= probable accident. This is NOT ok. Enough said.
***
When you enter the highway, be mindful that 30 mph is NOT the current speed of traffic and you may get rear ended by one of the a fore mentioned people who is in a big freakin hurry.
***
When you pull into a parking lot, it is pretty much a bitch move to park diagonally in 2 spaces. You are not the president or freaking king of anywhere so park within the lines like the rest of us.
***
When you happen to see an ambulance coming up behind you, the correct thing to do is pull to the right as quickly and safely as possible. Pulling to the side of the road is not to be confused with freeze tag in which you stop in your tracks, causing the ambulance to honk and try to get around you.
***
Read up on how the whole stop sign thing works too please. Ok??
***
I know these things seem self explanatory, but we all need a gentle reminding from time to time. Please don't make me stoop to your level and scream profanities out of my window, because I'm almost there.
OMG I would so love to be in the car with you! I hate idiot drivers too!
ReplyDeleteHells to tha YEAH! I can't stand that shit either and it's best they just stay away from us. I bet you feel so much better after posting that. :o)
ReplyDeletethanks for your kind words today my friend. :)
Funny, that's the way I feel every time I'm in Rhode Island...well, anywhere in the routes between Providence and Boston. The mess around that new bridge in Providence is such a bite, too. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteHa! It's not just in Rhode Island. I hate stupid drivers! More than half the drivers out there should not be licensed!
ReplyDeleteI gotta say I hear ya! I am not sure why so many people have their DL. Follow the rules of driving for goodness sake...they are not that difficult. ugh
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Kameron (even though I am technically a RI driver). You forgot to add that when turning left it's not okay to slowly creep your way into the road, blocking all traffic in the meantime, so you can make your turn. It's also not okay to stop in the middle of a four lane road to let someone else creep out in front of you, there is a good chance the person driving in the inside lane won't stop when said car pulls into the street. I've seen three accidents happen this way in the past couple of years. Only in RI.
ReplyDeleteya know...it's been one of those weeks. where things are just under my skin.
ReplyDeletethen the mamakat thing got everyone talking about the top 10 things that irk them. so, i felt better about being such a grouch this week. looks like it's in the air!
have a good holiday!!
Ditto those rules for Washington drivers... they're idiots out here too!!!
ReplyDeleteOk, Aidan's asleep and I am working on your button RIGHT NOW!!!
Texas has the worst drivers ever! Really, I could create several more to add to your list that would be just specific towards Texans! Growing up in MI, we tend to be a bit aggressive and impatient with our driving. I have no tolerance for people who just don't get it!
ReplyDeleteHi! How are YOU today? I loved this whole thing, I laughed all the way through!!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, all of them are so true, but I especially hate the two-parking-space parkers!! Like only the rest of us are capable of seeing the lines? It makes me want ride the line myself and saddle up about two inches from their car. In fact, that's a good idea. Next time I'm in the Golden Delicious (aka mini van of awesomeness) I think I'll do just that!
ReplyDeleteTee Hee Hee...that made me seriously laugh sooo hard I am going to wet my pants...I mean honestly, if in fact you are a douche bag shouldn't you be the one to tell him!!! LOL. Gotta love drivers...they only test on the skill of driving NOT the attitude!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteHaving gone to college in Rhode Island, I must say, you hit the nail right on the head!
ReplyDelete