Letters of Intent

Dear Tyson,


I was innocently watching a show with my uber-impressionable 3 year old the other night when the new commercial, advertising your chicken nuggets, came on. As I watched each child tell me what they didn't like to eat, I waited for the positive message that I was sure HAD to be coming at the end. You know something along the lines of how we should eat our veggies or try new things. That would have been a good message to send to the kids. Instead the "Ah-ha" moment of your nice little commercial was, since your child doesn't like real, nutritious food, you should just feed them Tyson frozen chicken nuggets instead. I understand that some children are picky eaters. That doesn't mean that parents should give up and feed their kids meals from the freezer every night. Children's palates should be cultivated, not catered to. How are they supposed to learn to appreciate good food if we stop offering it to them?

Now, I know you claim your nuggets are "all natural" and everything, but I seriously have issue with the fact that in 1 serving of your nuggets (6 nuggets) there are 21 grams of fat. That is 32% of the RDA of fat based on a 2,000 calorie diet!! Since my child is 3 and should consume roughly 1,200 calories a day that would be ~53% of his recommended daily intake of fat. Just in case you didn't know, that is actually MORE fat (4 more grams) than there is in a 6 piece Chicken McNuggets from McDonalds, and yours are baked!!!

I'm actually very happy that my son is a wonderful eater and doesn't especially like your frozen nuggets. We eat dinner as a family almost every night and he eats what we eat. He is not allowed to simply look at a food and say he doesn't like it. We live by the 2 bite rule. He has to eat two bites of something before he can decide he doesn't want to eat it. This doesn't mean he won't have to try it again! The next time I serve it, the same 2 bite rule applies. I can count the number of food items on one hand that he doesn't like. If I had just thrown in the towel and offered him nuggets the first time he didn't like something, he may have turned into a picky eater. I'm glad I didn't. You shouldn't tell parents that they should either.

Sincerely,

The mom who will not be buying ANY more Tyson nuggets

   
 
If you have something you want to get off that chest, head on over to Julie's and share it with the group. It's like therapy, only cheaper.

Letters of Intent - Week from H-E-double-hockey-sticks

Dear FedEx Driver,

While sitting in stop and go traffic on my way home from work I glanced into the open door of your truck. I was taken aback at the fact that you were READING A NEWS PAPER while you were at the wheel. You had a co-worker lounging comfortably in the passenger seat. Maybe next time he can drive while you get your leisure reading in. I don't normally say anything when I see people making a$$hole moves like that, but for some reason I felt compelled. When I rolled down my window and told your buddy that it might be a good idea for you to save your reading for another time, I expected a little embarrassment on your part. A small acknowledgement that you were being an idiot. If someone called me out on that I know I'd be embarrassed, but then again I dont' read while I am piloting my vehicle. I do have to say that my favorite part would have to be when you pulled past me, into the turn lane, and your friend gave me a thumbs up as you flipped me off. That, my friend, was the last straw. I suppose if you are stupid enough to read while you drive, that you are also stupid enough to not realize that the name and phone number of your company is embossed on the side of your truck. I took down your plate number and truck number and promptly called 1-800-go-FedEx to tattle on you. Stick that in your paper and read it.

Sincerely,

The lady you don't want to f*&^ with

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Dear Week,

If you had a face, I would punch you in it. You better tell your friend Weekend to make it up to me.

Love,

The woman you kicked around for the last 5 days

Letters of Intent

Dearest Natey,

 You are 3. There is no reason YOU, and not your 9 month old sister, should be the cause of my lack of sleep. While I think you "sneakin'" out of your bed the last 2 nights at 9:30pm and hearing you singing AC/DC's TNT at the top of your lungs while you should be sleeping is slightly comical, it needs to end. You go to bed at 8:00 for a reason. You are a whiny, grumpy mess when you don't get adequate sleep. You are also aware of the "No kids in my bed" policy, so please try to comply. No more climbing into my bed at 2am or 5am  and keep me up with your tossing, turning and kicking. You have a super cool bed. Stay in it.

Sincerely,

Your exhausted mom who just wants some freaking rest!!

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Hey Dunkin,

WTF? I order a medium iced Dunkin Dark with 2 cream and 2 splenda. Please tell me why it tastes different Every. Single. Day! I'm not a coffee making master or anything, but it seems a simple, straightforward process to me! It is getting to the point where I may have to go to the dark side and visit Fourbucks instead of your establishment, or better yet start making my own coffee! Also, I do NOT appreciate your efforts to create more waste by sticking my cup inside of a styrofoam cup. I am getting tired of having to tell you NO STYROFOAM every time I drive thru. It is wasteful and I finish my coffee in about 2 seconds flat, so I'm not worried that my ice is going to melt and dilute the 8 gallons of cream you have put in my drink.

Thanks,

The girl who's about to run from Dunkin'

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Dear Earl,

I'm a  California girl with no prior experience with hurricanes. Please be gentle and leave our area in one piece. We just had a 100 year storm in the spring that caused a lot of flooding and I'm a fan of the current dryness of my basement. If you wish, I will sacrifice my garden to your vortex since I am getting tired of weeding it anyway.

Thankyouverymuch,

East coast transplant who would rather deal with earthquakes


Head on over to Julie's place and jump on the bitching bandwagon. It's good for your soul!

Karma is a B*tch and so are you

To the woman in seat 20C on our flight home from Oregon,

I saw you sitting in the terminal before we boarded...at 5:45am. I pretended not to notice you as I tried to occupy my 3 year old and feed my hungry baby while my husband went to fetch us some food and much needed coffee. Your judgmental stares and whispers to your husband were the last thing I was concerned with at the moment. I was overjoyed when I noticed you were seated in the aisle seat adjacent to the row in front of us. Your obvious glares and self righteous head shaking every time my toddler was louder than a whisper were rude and only added to my anxiety. Do you really think I enjoyed the mini tantrums my son was having?? Didn't you notice my husband and I were doing everything in our power to keep him calm?? Maybe you failed to notice the 90 minutes that he was quiet watching a movie. Maybe you were too busy judging that you failed to see us trying to redirect and occupy our toddler EVERY time he peeped or kicked the seat in front of him.

Your rudeness could have been overlooked IF you hadn't crossed the line. My husband stood up to walk our son around, in an attempt to distract him and get some energy out, and apologized to the woman and her child (who was the victim of the seat kicking) in front of us, and even offered up our DVD player to him. The nice woman said, "It's OK, my son was just like that at 3. I understand how hard it is on a plane". My husband did not get two steps away before your bitchy comment of, "It's NOT OK. That kid is a brat!". First of all, let me tell you that you are lucky that my husband was the one in the aisle and that I had a sleeping baby on my lap. His calm response of, "Mind your own business" would NOT have been what came out of my mouth. The fact that you then took it a step further than insulting my 3 year old with your reply, "He's a brat and it is because of lack of discipline!", was astounding to me. I wanted to stand up and slap you. My hands were shaking, I was sweating and I wanted to scream in your face! My level headed husband's stern reply of, "MIND YOUR BUSINESS", could have easily been followed by many expletives, but he didn't stoop to your level.

The next time you feel it necessary to judge another person's situation, maybe you should sit back and contemplate the possible circumstances behind the behavior. The fact that my toddler was on the tail end of a 2 week vacation, where he slept in 4 different locations, had already been strapped in the car a collective 26 hours over 11 days, and had been woken up at 4am to go get on a plane where he is expected to sit still, not talk and not walk around MAY have contributed to his inability to control his impulses. Oh yeah, and the fact that he just turned 3 could have played a tiny part too!!!!!

I won't waste my time trying to convince you that my toddler is normally a good boy and that I do, in fact, discipline him. I just wanted to thank you for making the 3 hour flight from Portland to Chicago an even more miserable experience than it already was....and I hope they lost your luggage.